{"id":4693,"date":"2026-09-10T14:51:11","date_gmt":"2026-09-10T11:51:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hr-power.group\/?p=4693"},"modified":"2026-09-10T14:54:46","modified_gmt":"2026-09-10T11:54:46","slug":"vidklasty-sebe-na-potim-yak-my-vtrachayemo-kontakt-iz-soboyu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hr-power.group\/en\/vidklasty-sebe-na-potim-yak-my-vtrachayemo-kontakt-iz-soboyu\/","title":{"rendered":"Putting ourselves on the back burner: how we lose touch with ourselves"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you ever find yourself in a state where you just don\u2019t feel like doing anything \u2013 as if apathy, indifference and hopelessness are overwhelming you? We might call this emotional burnout, search online for various explanations and try to understand what\u2019s happening to us. This state can be exacerbated and triggered by various events, but it\u2019s important to recognise what might be underlying it \u2013 the habit of being hard on and critical of ourselves. Sound familiar? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hr-power.group\/uk\/our-team\/\">I suggest we explore this process and gain a better understanding of it.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In our society, high standards and a focus on results are generally encouraged \u2013 do you remember your earliest recollections of your parents\u2019 expectations of you and how you felt about them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let\u2019s be honest \u2013 some of us didn\u2019t receive the attention, support and respect we would have liked as children \u2013 our parents brought their own experiences, which they had gained themselves, into their parenting. That\u2019s why our earliest memories of achievements and results are often linked to anxiety about whether we\u2019ll be able to achieve them and win approval. And we didn\u2019t always manage to achieve what our parents expected of us \u2013 but we learnt to put that \u2018MUST\u2019 first, and sometimes there simply wasn\u2019t enough room left for our \u2018WANT\u2019\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For a child, support, acceptance and approval are vital elements that shape a positive view of themselves and the world and strengthen their inner resilience. Consequently, in order to get what they want, children prioritise the needs of their loved ones over their own. As we grow up, we \u00abcarry with us\u00bb the way of relating to the world that we learnt earlier. And we begin to demand results from ourselves and judge them, sometimes harshly criticising ourselves and forgetting about self-compassion and kindness \u2013 things we have not yet learnt sufficiently. Without realising it, we gradually drive ourselves into a dead end of obligations and expectations, which, over time, become ever more numerous and burdensome \u2013 and then that \u2018MUST\u2019 becomes the main driving force behind our lives and development, whilst the voice of \u2018I WANT\u2019 grows ever fainter. And then inside we feel sad and empty, as if someone important had left us\u2026 As if our entire worth to others and to ourselves begins to be defined by that result which we \u201cMUST\u201d achieve\u2026 for someone, for others\u2026 But for ourselves, it seems there\u2019s nothing left, or it\u2019s put off until later\u2026 And then, gradually, our inner energy, strength and drive fade away, and into that empty space, imperceptibly and insidiously, apathy and its companion \u2013 hopelessness \u2013 seep in as an invisible backdrop\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psychologists call this the \u2018deferred life syndrome\u2019 \u2013 when the present is constantly sacrificed for that future moment when it will finally be possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what should we do about it? Where can we find those little pieces of ourselves that hold the key to our energy and inner strength? The first step is to recognise this process as it unfolds and redirect our focus back to ourselves. Yes, now your inner advisors and accusers will jump in \u2013 and they\u2019ll use the familiar lines \u2013 that it\u2019s selfish, that it\u2019s not the right time, that you need to be nice and accommodating, that others need it more\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;But the truth lies somewhere between \u00abMUST\u00bb and \u00abWANT\u00bb. Because, really, in adult life it\u2019s impossible to be guided solely by what you \u2018want\u2019. We have responsibilities, obligations, other people and circumstances to consider. But it\u2019s just as impossible to live constantly pushing yourself solely on the basis of \u2018musts\u2019 \u2013 it\u2019s just that in the latter case, the consequences come later and are often imperceptible at first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The only person we are with 24\/7 is ourselves. And so, learning to have a good, mindful and honest relationship with ourselves is not selfishness, but an important part of adulthood. Finding a healthy balance between our own desires and the commitments we take on is our task.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We live in a time when it is particularly easy to put ourselves on the back burner \u2013 until things calm down and the war is over, until we have more energy, money, security and certainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This \u00ablater\u00bb becomes so ingrained in our lives that we stop realising that LIFE is still happening RIGHT NOW. And whilst there are things in it that we cannot influence, there are things that are within our control \u2013 things we can start to notice and choose. And that\u2019s when change begins)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, it\u2019s worth stopping every now and then to ask yourself: \u00abWhat\u2019s in it for me? What do I WANT?\u00bb.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u0427\u0438 \u043f\u043e\u043c\u0456\u0447\u0430\u0454\u0442\u0435 \u0432\u0438 \u0456\u043d\u043e\u0434\u0456 \u0441\u0442\u0430\u043d, \u043a\u043e\u043b\u0438 \u043d\u0456\u0447\u043e\u0433\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u0445\u043e\u0447\u0435\u0442\u044c\u0441\u044f \u2013 \u043d\u0430\u0447\u0435 \u0437 \u0433\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0432\u043e\u044e \u043d\u0430\u043a\u0440\u0438\u0432\u0430\u0454 \u0430\u043f\u0430\u0442\u0456\u044f, \u0431\u0430\u0439\u0434\u0443\u0436\u0456\u0441\u0442\u044c, \u0431\u0435\u0437\u043d\u0430\u0434\u0456\u044f? \u041c\u0438 \u043c\u043e\u0436\u0435\u043c\u043e \u043d\u0430\u0437\u0438\u0432\u0430\u0442\u0438 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burner: how we lose touch with ourselves \u2013 HR Power Group","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.hr-power.group\/en\/vidklasty-sebe-na-potim-yak-my-vtrachayemo-kontakt-iz-soboyu\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"\u0412\u0456\u0434\u043a\u043b\u0430\u0441\u0442\u0438 \u0441\u0435\u0431\u0435 \u043d\u0430 \u043f\u043e\u0442\u0456\u043c: \u044f\u043a \u043c\u0438 \u0432\u0442\u0440\u0430\u0447\u0430\u0454\u043c\u043e \u043a\u043e\u043d\u0442\u0430\u043a\u0442 \u0456\u0437 \u0441\u043e\u0431\u043e\u044e - HR Power Group","og_description":"\u0427\u0438 \u043f\u043e\u043c\u0456\u0447\u0430\u0454\u0442\u0435 \u0432\u0438 \u0456\u043d\u043e\u0434\u0456 \u0441\u0442\u0430\u043d, \u043a\u043e\u043b\u0438 \u043d\u0456\u0447\u043e\u0433\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u0445\u043e\u0447\u0435\u0442\u044c\u0441\u044f \u2013 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