Over the years I\u2019ve been practising, I\u2019ve noticed one thing more and more often. Most people don\u2019t come to me because they don\u2019t have the answers. They come because they\u2019ve stopped trusting their own answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And time and again, I\u2019m struck by almost the same pattern. During a conversation, people often end up saying the very answer they\u2019ve been searching for so long. It comes out in a casual remark, is revealed in their tone of voice, or emerges after a long pause. Sometimes the body even picks up on it before the mind does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But almost immediately, doubts creep in: \u00abMaybe I\u2019m wrong\u00bb, \u00abSurely this isn\u2019t serious\u00bb, \u00abThat doesn\u2019t happen\u00bb, \u00abI must be imagining it all\u00bb. And at that moment, a person begins to doubt, not because there is no answer. They begin to doubt because they no longer trust themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The longer I work, the more I realise that the problem rarely lies in a lack of clarity. Far more often, it lies in a loss of trust in the clarity that already exists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are not born without self-confidence<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In all my years of living and working, I have never once seen a small child who wondered whether they were actually cold. Or asked for permission to feel curious. Or told themselves there was no need to be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When a child feels cold, they don\u2019t doubt their own feelings. When they\u2019re scared, they don\u2019t try to convince themselves that \u00abthey\u2019re overreacting\u00bb. When they\u2019re curious, they\u2019re drawn to explore. When they don\u2019t want to eat, they don\u2019t wonder whether it\u2019s a good enough reason. They simply know what\u2019s happening to them right now. Not because they know everything about themselves, but because, for now, they\u2019re still used to trusting themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The ability to listen to yourself is not a skill that needs to be developed. It is a natural ability that we are born with. Therefore, you do not need to learn how to build self-confidence from scratch. It can be gradually restored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We don\u2019t stop trusting ourselves overnight<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n People almost never wake up one morning thinking, \u00abFrom today, I\u2019m no longer going to trust myself.\u00bb That hardly ever happens. It happens very quietly. Very gradually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other voices enter our lives. Parents. Teachers. Friends. Colleagues. Society. And almost every one of them has something to say about what the right thing to do is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00abIt\u2019s safer that way.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00abThat\u2019s what everyone does.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00abBe realistic.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00abDon\u2019t make things up.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00abYou\u2019ll be sorry.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t see any ill will in these words. Very often, they stem from love, concern or a desire to protect. But gradually, we get used to trusting outside voices more than our own feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The word \u00abget used to\u00bb is particularly important to me here. It doesn\u2019t blame anyone. It doesn\u2019t imply weakness or a mistake. It simply describes a process that happens almost imperceptibly to many of us. And then there comes a moment when, one day, a person says: \u00abI don\u2019t know what I want anymore.\u00bb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Although the truth may well be quite different. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She knows. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She simply stopped believing that her answer could also be right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We rarely lose ourselves<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n After many coaching sessions, I\u2019m left with the same thought. We live without answers far less often than we realise. More often than not, we live without trusting our own answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That is precisely why, during coaching sessions, we do not try to find the right answer as quickly as possible. First and foremost, it is important to help the person hear their own answer, to allow them to voice it, and to feel it not only with their mind but also with their body. And then, gradually, to build their confidence in that answer, so that they can rely on it not only during the conversation, but also in their own decisions and actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That inner voice never really went away. It just remained quieter than all the others for far too long. And if that is indeed the case, then a completely different question arises. Not \u00abWhere can I find the right answer?\u00bb, but \u00abHow can I hear my own voice again and learn to trust it?\u00bb That is exactly what we will be discussing in the next article.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u0417\u0430 \u0440\u043e\u043a\u0438 \u0441\u0432\u043e\u0454\u0457 \u043f\u0440\u0430\u043a\u0442\u0438\u043a\u0438 \u044f \u0434\u0435\u0434\u0430\u043b\u0456 \u0447\u0430\u0441\u0442\u0456\u0448\u0435 \u043f\u043e\u043c\u0456\u0447\u0430\u044e \u043e\u0434\u043d\u0443 \u0440\u0456\u0447. \u0411\u0456\u043b\u044c\u0448\u0456\u0441\u0442\u044c \u043b\u044e\u0434\u0435\u0439 \u043f\u0440\u0438\u0445\u043e\u0434\u044f\u0442\u044c \u043d\u0435 \u0442\u043e\u043c\u0443, \u0449\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u043c\u0430\u044e\u0442\u044c \u0432\u0456\u0434\u043f\u043e\u0432\u0456\u0434\u0435\u0439. \u0412\u043e\u043d\u0438 […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"yoast_head":"\n