War through the eyes of a child
During war, children are particularly sensitive to changes around them. They do not always understand what is happening, but they can feel the emotional state of adults. If parents are scared or depressed, the child takes on these feelings.
A child can show stress in different ways:
- frequent fears, nightmares, unwillingness to be alone;
- aggression, hyperactivity or, conversely, withdrawal;
- loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping;
- “war” games, drawings, and talk about death are a way to cope with tension.
The task of an adult in this difficult time is not to eliminate all difficulties, but to create conditions where the child can feel safe and trusted.
How to help your child cope with fear and anxiety
1. Be a source of peace of mind
Your inner state is the main factor in your child's stability.
If you are exhausted or anxious, allow yourself to be supported. Even short breathing exercises, a conversation with a psychologist, and rest can help you regain your balance.
A child calms down not when he or she hears «everything will be fine», but when he or she sees that the adult is coping.
2. Speak honestly but clearly
Explain events simply and without excessive detail.
“Yes, it's a war. There are people who protect us. We are doing everything to be safe.”
Avoid untruths (“nothing is happening”) or frightening descriptions - they only increase anxiety.
3. Maintain routines and rituals
Stability is the cure for chaos.
Even when things change, keep the little habits: breakfast together, a bedtime story, a walk, a hug.
These simple actions give the child a sense of: “Life goes on, I am safe.”.
4. Give your child a sense of control
Offer a choice in the little things:
- what to wear today;
- what toy to take on the road;
- what to cook for dinner;
- what to play or what film to watch.
In this way, the child learns that even in difficult circumstances, he or she can influence his or her life.
5. Play and creativity are the main means of healing
During the game, the child “digests” his or her experience.
Allow them to play «war» or “rescue” - don't forbid them, just be there for them.
They also help:
drawing;
music, singing;
reading and creating stories;
communication with other children.
What not to do
Say “Don't be afraid”, “Don't cry”, “Be strong”.
Allow emotions - they are natural.
Discuss terrible news in front of a child.
Shift the role of «support for the adult» to the child.
When a child can talk openly about his or her fear, this is the path to healing.
How to create a “safety space” at home
Arrange a small corner where the child will feel calm - a favourite blanket, a book, a soft toy, a flashlight.
Hugging, touching, stroking the head - body contact lowers cortisol levels and restores trust in the world.
If the child has had a traumatic experience
After a traumatic event (shelling, loss, evacuation), a child may remain anxious, distant or overly excited for a long time.
In such cases, it is important to contact a children's psychologist or a psychotherapist.
The specialist will help the child to live through the traumatic experience through play, drawing and conversation.
The most important thing you can give a child is your presence and warmth.
Not the promise that “everything will be fine”, but the confidence that “we are together and we will cope”.
Taking care of yourself is also taking care of your child.
Because a balanced adult creates a safe world for a child.